Experimentation required
by amyltrer
Summary: Inspired by Madilayn's thread. Count Egobossler and computers are not a good combination
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** **All charachter belong to Tatsunoko.ltd**

**Again! They've beat you again! How many more mechas do I have to build? I'm reaching your human point of being fed up!**

Count Egobossler listened Sosai's preachings through gritted teeth. Long practice allowed him to endure this daily torture. But this was going on for two hours and his patience, or what was left from it demanded an end. Quickly. Or else…..

So he decided to end it in the only way that won't further whet Sosai's wrath. Taking a deep breath, that did nothing to calm his own, he rised his voice to speak.

**Gatchaman will be defeated soon!**

It was the usual excuse and he hope he'll work this time too.

**You've said this before! And you always came back with your tail between your legs! They've defeated you three times in a week! Can't those maggots you have for brains to make up a worthy plan?**

…...

Egobossler clenched his fists at the insult, but said nothing. He had to find something new. The alien no longer buy the old excuse. He raked his mind for something to calm Sosai while mentally swore for the umpteenth time that he will make Gatchaman pay for all the insults he got from Z because of him. Yes, this will be his first priority. When he'll finally conquer the world. Which was much more difficult to accomplish than he had initially thought. Had he known he will go through so many humiliations…..

Sosai unceremoniously disturbed his thoughts.

**Don't stay there like an idiot! Say something!**

The Count flinched as he bit hard his tongue in attempt to supress the insult his brain uncounsciously would have adressed to the alien.

**I said I will destroy them! But I need more…..**

**Mechas? Time? What? I gave you anything you've asked. And yet you've failed every time! You're an incompetent!**

Hadn't been for his painfully and bleeding tongue, his time Z would have known Egobossler's vocabulary of swearings. Which was fortunately, because it spared the Count from much more additional pain. The alien did not like at all to be offended.

It continued to babble something that didn't got to the Count's ears which was to busy to struggle with his anger and made futile attempts to calm his ragging breath otherwise he felt he might blow up!

_**Get revenge! Destroy! Kill!...**_ Egobossler's brain was furiously screaming at his owner. He stared up at the dog looking face of Sosai, mentally wandering where a pack of C4 should be attached to cause maximum damage. He also made a note to bring one with him at the next meeting.

……**.. And I am tired once for all of you and your mistakes. You are useless to me, and a curse for the Gallactor. If Gatchaman won't bring us down your blunders will! I had it enough of you!...**

_**And I of you**_, Egobossler mentally added. He knew better then say it loudly. He chose instead to ignore Sosai's lecture as he always did before, when the alien bored him. But he discovered he couldn't now. He wasn't just bored or dizzed after his brandy glasses ( Sosai had kept him lectures on that issue lately, saying that this habbit had to do with the failures he so oftenly experienced). He was angry, so with all his best efforts to think of a glass of his red Cabernet Sauvignon, surrounded in the etherical music of his old Victorola, his ears could only register the eardrum scratching roar made be Sosai's speakers. The alien was really a pain. Literary. If he won't be out of here, soon, he'll have a headache! He supressed a groan and the impulse of rubbing his temples, knowing that this would make Sosai to rise his decibels. However, a phrase in all this uproar caught his attention, making him to forget all his anger for a second.

……**..I'm having you replaced!**

Egobossler's grey eyes bugged out in surprise and his jaw dropped only a choked groan of surprise escaping his lips.

**WHAT?**

It was all he could say. His mind was failing to manage the emotions that were overwhelming it: anger, surprise, hatred...

Z was mercifully quiet for a second, giving time to his blue ex-leader to understand and assess the situation.

"**You can't have me replaced! I am your ally and I lead the Gallactor! The men are loyals to me. You're just a …..**

Frightening shrieks resounded in Sosai's gigantic body as Egobossler's body curled in midair. He felt his brain shrinking under the alien's mind warping rays. He could no longer think and acted by the instinct, the screams of pain being only what came out of his gasping for air.

In this state, Sosai's laughter sounded more mockingly than ever, and he had a long history of being laughed by the alien.

**You should have studied Katze's file better, you pathetic human being!**

Helm winced. He had read the mass of papers that formed Katze's diary, but he mostly dissmised the horrible stories of hir punishents as a crazed mutant's insanities. He figured now, from his own experience how real and painfully they were.

His lungs seemt no longer able to filter the air, despite his attempts to inhale. Asphixia caused his vision to blure and roll. Panic took over his mind.

"**When I said I won't tolerate disobedience I meant it!**

Helm felt the grip over his body lessen a little, enough to choke out the words he would never had said them otherwise.

**Please, ……let…….me………go**

Sosai held him another more seconds, delightening himself with the pain that had caused to him then released him. Helm could register another kind of pain that resembled the bone-breaking one after being dropped on something hard from a good few feets above. He stretched his hand and realised the hard thing was actually the floor. Weird. He hadn't noticed it before.

**I take you have learn your lesson!**

Struggling to get some air into his lungs, Helm was experiencing too much pain now to even be able to hate Sosai.

A low anguished moan was all he could answer.

**And now be gone from my face!**

This time Helm couldn't have swore the creature even if he wanted! It hurted only to breath. He felt Sosai's leviation rays wrapping around him and felt his body lifted up and lowered back to his Castle. He always hated this form of transport. Sosai had no stability in that ray and it would always shake him up and down till he felt his last meal in his throat. Which wasn't a very comfortable feeling, especially when you were a few hundreds feet above ground.

He closed his eyes, trying to supress the pain and the nausea, and felt incredibly grateful when his hands touched the cold, but stable marble floor of his Castle. He would have kissed it if hadn't noticed a pair of black boots in front of him.

He groaned mentally in embarrasment, not bothering to look up, as he knew exactly who they belonged to!

**I see Sosai had break you the news of your replacement!**

Helm cursed his luck again. Here he was, kneeling in the front of the braggart that just stole his position within Gallactor! He never liked this guy, but now he wished he had his head on the trophy wall in his chamber. On the one where he'll put the heads of those damn birds. He might make an exception for the Swan. He had something else in mind for her…… He rised on his feet, stumbling as he did so, trying to ignore Marstora's smug sneer.

The martian went on, irking on the Count's already grated nerves.

**I'm not surprised at all! It's a wonder how a fool like you could last so much !**

Helm gritted his teeth. Well, he could say he was getting used with the insults for today! He had definitely learnt his lesson with Sosai. And knew Marstora's game too well. He was just trying to anger him more. An emotional outburst would only give satisfaction to his rival. _Time to change the tactic_, he thought!

He regained a dignifyied posture as his legs would allow and turned his back to the braggart, heading for his chamber, where he could vent his anger alone.

"**You'll be the first to know of my victories, Egobossler! **He even had the nerve to shout after him.

_**That will take centuries!**_ He thought sarcastically.

Helm's nails bit in his palm, but he just ignored him further. Oh, how he wanted to stick his sword in this guy! But leave that to Gatchaman! He knew Marstora won't do a better job than he did against those pesky ninjas. And he will make sure of this. This thought brought a little evil smile on the Count's blue lips as he took a snide glance behing him, at the wavering orange cape of the martian.

Once he reached his private quarters, Egobossler slammed the door behind him, causing a vase on the nearby shelf to fell down and clatter in pieces on the floor.

He slumped himself in his armchair in front of the fire place and uncounsciously reached for his bottle of wine as the events from the previous months started to unwind in his mind. Analysing the battles between his forces and the ISO, he realised he had been more successful when using his own troops instead of the gigantic freaking-looking mechas of Sosai. That untill they created those blasted phaser tanks, which caused him grave defeats and forced him to rely on Z's creations. Which were very unhandly and to had to work with, to say at least. Ah, he hated machines. His good old guns and cannons could do the job!

He poured himself a glass with a movement that has became an automatism during the years and brought it in front of his eyes to stare through it's crimson color at his distorted features reflected in the glass. Right now he'd rather have a glass of Gatchaman's blood instead of his usualy Cabernet . His brow creased remembering Z's preachings as it told him that the wine made him eyesore and incompetent…. He drowned the glass with a single gulp, just in spite of the alien's whines, wincing as the liquid burned it's way down on his throat! As he stared at the now empty glass, he didn't even bothered to notice the red droplets dribbling on his tunic.

He placed it back on the table and rubbed his throbing temples. This time he got from Sosai more than a headache!

He returned his stare at the empty fireplace. He missed the sight of flames smouldering inside and idly wondered if he should call a servant and ask him to lit up the fire….. even if it was afternoon. He eventually dismissed it and went back to meditate upon his situation.

Helm was haugthy man. But he admited he had a weak point when it came to technology. He liked the classical style, the elegance, and not this mess of flickering bulbs and circuits. It gave him a headache just like Sosai did. Fine, he didn't know at all how to use a damn machine! And Sosai did not take those gladly, since it was a machine itself. Ah, he just hated machines! With Z on top of the list! And that funny looking Gatchaman's ship a close second!

And apparently machines didn't like him either. They always failed on him when were desperately needed. That's why he got defeated every time.

Z had so oftenly pointed out this….. incapacity of his to work with them!

_**Even a monkey knows to use a computer! Why can't you?**_

He snorted at the flashback. Well, maybe that's why it hired that monkey Marstora in his place. Or was he supposed to be a tiger?

Why those damned birds couldn't have the same problem?

He would get his position back soon, he was sure of this. It was only a matter of time till Gatchaman will beat the conceit out of Marstora's thick skull. They had all his approval in this matter. But he wanted to give Sosai a lesson. Yes, something to teach the alien who Count Egobossler was. And he knew exactly just what was it. The very thought brought his customay evil grin back on his face.

He rised from his armchair and with an evil grin on his face and a lot of evil ideas spinning in his head, he headed to the one who will help him to fullfill his purpose. Nothing would stop him from…

**SCREEEEAAAAK!**

He winced as he lifted his foot and looked down at the glass shards stuck in his bootsole. A golden dragon painted on one of the shards scattered on the floor let him recognise the ancient vase from the grave of Emperor Chin he had filch……. received as a gift from the prime minister of China.

The Count groaned inwardly. This was not his day!


	2. The wonders of technology

_**In Saturnhofen Castle, the Count's main chamber of audience……**_

Helm sat in his velvet upholstered armchair staring at the unusual item from his polished oak desk, which was in total disagreement with the classical elegance and luxury that defined the medieval athmospere of his Castle. It was a small, flat, rectangular black surface, with grey hues, depending on the angle the light fel upon it. It completely lacked in ornamentation and the Count find it much too…. plain for his exquisitive tastes. But since it turned out to be of vital importance for his plans, he decided it worth a little of his attention. Next to it was his usualy companions : the bottle with aged Cabernet and the Boemia crystal snifter.

Across the table from Egobossler, with an identical item in front of him, sat professor Rottendorf, Gallactor's best specialist in electronics. He was the one who'd help Z designing the monstermechs and giving the rate those were failing, Egobossler had suspicions in what concerned the man's abitilies.

**Very well, Count. We shall begin….again**!" he spoke with his cackled, evil-sounding voice, that managed to hide perfectly the frustration he felt. To say the man was an anti-talent in the cybernetic field was an understatement. It was the tenth time in the last two hours he was trying to teach Egobossler how to access into a compter database. The Gallactor leader had learned to switch it on before, relatively fast and he only fried up two hardwares in the proces.

Rottendorf fliped open the laptop's screen watching Egobossler imitating his gesture. He felt like a trainer working on a particulary stupid pet, and truth to be told, he'd rather teach a monkey to build a computer that Egobossler to use one. The goons who built up the mechas' control system were about the average intelect of a monkey, anyway.

Here come now the hardest part for the professor. To teach the Count how to use the software. He started with telling him about the bits and partitions and from the puzzled expression from his blue features he figure, Egobssler understood him as much as a blind would understand the notion of color.

Indeed, the Count stared disdainfully at the flickering colors on the display in front of him. He remembered the times when he caught his subordinates captivated in this activity….hm, how did they called it? Ah, yes, internet browsing, instead of doing their everyday chores, but he didn't find it even remoty interesting. A glass of brandy while admiring his Rembrandt pictures, now that would worth his time. But the idea that his new knowlodges in the electronics field will help him to require his lost position, as well as Rottendorf's chidingly calling brought his attention back at the computer.

**Have your computer finished initialising it's settings, Sir?**

Helm looked puzzled at the man for a second, realising now how much he disliked Rottendorf's typical evil-scientist appeareance with wild dingy eyes and disheveled shack of white hair ( An unwise observer would have made a comment about the similarities between their hairdos ) then down at the screen

It was all blue now, save for a rectangle in the middle where was writtten with capital letters

_**INSERT PASSWORD**_:

What? His lip started to quiver in anger. He was Count Egobossler, how dared this puny machine to ask him a password! He clenched his fists ready to smash it in pieces!

**Sir? **

**It has the nerve to ask me the password!** He shout in indigdation.

The scientist stared him disgusted. He should have believed the alien when it told him that teaching Egobossler to work with computer was like teaching a monkey.

**Yes, you must insert the pasword in order to continue…….**

**But I don't know any password!**

Helm's patience was getting to it's end. This was so frustrating. He felt like throwing that blasted piece of plastic on the window.

Rottendorf rolled his eyes. Maybe Sosai was wrong after all in what concerned the Count's skils in computers. The monkey would do better. He gathered his calm and continued the instruction.

**Impossible!**

The blue man pouted questionigly at the expert.

**You have set it yourself!**

Ah, yes, Helm remembered now. The old babble had asked him some time ago to pick a word and type it in the laptop. But he forgot which one. He thought it was just a typing lesson. How was he supposed to know it will need it again? He tried with some of the most frequent he usually used: his wine – PASSWORD INCORECT, brandy – PASSWORD INCORECT, ah, wait, Helm….he had a knack of hope as he typed the last one, it was his true name, no one could know it……..PASSWORD INCORECT

Damn compter won't take one. The laptop's LCD display stared mockingly at his illiterate user. Helm sighed and turned to Rottendorf for further instructions.

**Is this password necessary?**

Rottendorf shook his head in desbelief. What sort of idiot he had in front of his?

**It was designed as a security measure against unauthorisated acces. After three wrong typed passwords the hardware will erase all the data within.**

Egobossler's brow furrowed in annoyance at the wretched machine before him. He had already typed three incorect passwords and he had the feeling his fourth won't be the one who do the trick. He closed his eyes, rubbing the aching spot between his eyebrows, as he did on the battlefield when he was searching for the best decision. And he found it. Rottendorf's head snapped up from his own screen as the Count threw his laptop angrily across the table and rised up from his seat, throwing down his chair.

**I had enough! **

The scientist left his attempts to hack into ISO's network and gave full attention to the blue man. Egobossler looked quite angry and from what Rottendorf heard, he had a habbit to shoot people when it was in a mood. Hmph, things are not looking good, the old man thought. He looked down at his crotch. Fortunately, the holster from his belt was empty. He sighed in relief.

**I will take no minute with this …..thing!** He cried as he pointed at the rejected item on the table. Then he spun to his instructor and snarled in frustration.

**It's your fault! You should have told me to memorise that password!**

Rottendorf supressed the need to smack himself over the forehead. God, this man was a complete idiot. No wonder Sosai kicked him out of the organisation. The Count looked like he was about to smash something in bits and the man hoped the computer would be enough.

**Ready!**

They both turned their heads towards the table's corner to see the flickering display on which no longer was that pesky rectangle that demanded password. Rottendorf pulled the laptop in front of him incredulosly. To his surprise, it was logged in the network.

**How…….**

Egobossler turned at the white fluffy mop of hair that was popping out from under the table. Soon appeared a little blue head as Helm managed to climb in the armchair. He waved his chubby azure hand at his father and smiled as he gave the older a puppy stare with his large grey so identical to Helm's

**Hi pops!**

Egobossler frowned as his son. He had told him a dozen of time not to call him like that. And especially not in front of strangers. Rottendorf wasn't paying attention anyway. He was staring mouth agaped at the laptop's screen in front of him. Then he turned to the boy.

**How did you managed to get pass the password? Did you break into it?**

The child had a large amount of cybernetic knowlodge. It had taught him himself. And for a four year old boy, Helm was brilliant. If it wasn't for his light blue skin and astonishing resemblance with his father, Rottendorf would have thought he wasn't Egobossler's son. The intellingence definitely must have come from the mother. Though whoever she was, it was a mystery. Egobossler had never revelead the identity of his child's mother.

Little Helm put a finger to his chin and mused thoughtfully.

**Uhmm, no! Wasn't need for. I knew dad will put his Cabernet wine as a password!**

Helm Senior stared his son haughtily. To have a four year old solving in a minute a relatively easy task you failed at it for ages was rather humiliating for his ego. He made a note to chide the brat later.

**Don't you think I've tried with that, boy?**

Helmy giggled, unfazed by the admonishing tone of his father.

**You must have misspelled it dad! You always do it! **

He looked from the scolding face of his father to the amazed one of Rottendorf. His dady was mad because he didn't know how to play with the laptop. He could teach him to. He wondered if he would get away for the prank he had pulled to his last instructor then. His dady will sue reprimand him for having Mr. Shrottur's trousers glued by the chair.

**Can I play with you?** He slowly asked.

**We are not playing here, Helm! And I don't remember allowing you to came into my chamber!**

**But you never play with me, dad!** He sulkily replied as he gave a pleading stare to his parent. Which did nothing to placate Egobossler. On the opposite!

He sighed, wondering what else he must do to shape his offspring in his vision of the perfect heir: ruthless, cold-minded and disciplinate. Just like he was. After all the chidings and punishments he had gave to Helm, the chlid still persisted in being an emotional and spoliled pestering brat. At least he was over the huggs and bedtime stories. Egobossler had so oftenly to peel of the boy from himself in the cold, rainy nights, when little Helm, frightened by the thunders, would barge in his quarters and wake him from his sleep. Of course the only comfort the boy would got were scoldings and sometimes the older version would bother to dragg him back to his bed, threatening him with the monsters beneath it.

Egobossler sighed in frustration again. The boy was a copy of himself. Why couldn't he act the way he wanted him? In all his musing about his son's behaviour, the Count forgot he was just like Helm when he had this age. But while he never had a paternal figure to take a model, he had a loving mother to look after him.

**Please, dad, pleeease…………**

Helmy brought his hands together in a pleading gesture that usualy allowed him to have his own way when it came to dealing with his old wrinkled governesses. But the only effect it had over Egobossler was to whet his anger, forth stirred by his incapacity to learn in the computer's field. His son's whinings were on the long list of things he would not tolerate.

**No! Go back to your quarters! Now!**

The boy's lip started quivering and his eyes watered, he was doing great efforts not to burst in tears. He knew that would only irratate his father more.

**But….** He weakly protested in low voice. The Count cut him furiously.

**Bloody Hell boy, didn't you heard me?! **

Even Rottendorf cringed at the tone. This man was causing him revulsion. Not only he was an incapable idiot, but to treat such a talentated boy in such a manner…….

**Sir, you shouldn't swear in front of the child!**

Egobossler spunned to the old man, in that anger he felt, he regreted he hadn't taken his sword. Seemt that everybody was telling him what to do lately. He would have give a swear to the maggot, but Helm suddenly jumping from his chair and rushing to the door made him forget his words.

**You're just jealous because I know how to play with a computer and you don't! You're bad! I hate you!**

He shouted at his father as tears started flooding his blue cheeks. As Egobossler opened his mouth to reprimand, him the boy slammed the door in his face, causing his favourite wine carafe to to fell from it's place on the stand on the floor and break in pieces.

Egobossler groaned mentally _**Maybe he is like me after all!**_

**Ahem Sir……I will be leving now. I think we had spent enough time for today!** Rottendorf coughed his excuse as he gathered his laptop and quickly made his way to the door Helm had exited a minute ago.

**You are making great progressess in what concerns the computers……**

The Count turned his head to the doorframe which the man had enough sense to shut it before he made contact with Egobossler's deadly glare.

Now alone with his thoughts, he slumped in his armchair, musing at the new problem he was dealing with. Ahh, if he had known four years ago at what torture is setting himself, he would have left that clone to Lorenzo. The boy was such a bother, he sometimes wanted to sent him back. Too bad he'd lost the coordiantes of that base….. He felt his stomach rolling in knotts as he thought this, and realised he could never truly do it. He actually come to care for the infant.

_**You, a daddy?**_

He scoffed at himself. Although the prospective of having a little peace and quiet around, things he badly missed since he had adopted Helm, he knew he couldn't bear to separate of his clone. Not for too long, anyway.

He mused over his son as his eyes followed the intricate carvings in the wooden doorframe. Well, maybe he did exagerated a little this time.

_**Am I making a mistake in his education?**_

He rised from the armchiar and left the room searching for his intemperated offspring.

_**He's better be in his room, where I've ordered him to go! **_He thought as he headed for Helm's quarters.

A cry of annoyance stopped him in his tracks and he spun around to see Mr. Schrottur running and screaming on the corridors of Saturnhoffen with his hands over his head. He stopped beside Egobossler making wide gestures in the air at some imaginary flies. The Count noticed his bloodshot eyes and his hair that was usualy sleeked of his skull looked stool on his end as if the man had just pulled his hand out a high voltage plug.

**I can't take that kid anymore. I hate him! I hate him!**

He plucked out a grey smock of hair from his head as he yelled at Egobossler who watched him jaw dropped in astonishment. Before he'd have the time to wake up from his confussion, the man ran away yelling desperately that he can't spend another second with the brat.

Egobossler gawked after him, not knowing whether he should be angry by the scene or burst into laughter at the sight of Schrottur's glued pants with a large hole in the bottom. This was the third instructor in a month that went crazy because of his son. Eventually he shook his head in resignation.

_**The boy is incorrigible!**_ He thought as he reached his son's quarters.

**Helm!**

No answer. His eyes narrowed at the thought the boy might have disobeyed his order. Again! He went inside and darted his gaze around, searching for a small blue form. It was nowhere in sight. His anger was quicky replaced by worry as he went to search the boy through every room from the apartment.

**Heeeelm?!**

He left the restroom and headed for the balcony, the only room he hadn't checked into yet.

**Helm!** He shouted eyes widened in fear!

**I'm not deaf, dad! **

**Then why didn't you answered? Good God, what are you doing there…..**

The boy rolled his grey eyes and kicked his legs from the lattices of the balcony as he typed something into the laptop placed on the balcony's rim. He waited a moment and smiled at the monitor, than his face saddened as he turned to face his father.

**You told me to go to my room….. And I like here…..It's a nice view. **He gestured at the wild forrests that were spreading at the mountain's foot, hundred feet below the balcony the boy was standing on.

Egobossler rushed at him and took him down from the marble rim from where he could have fallen every moment in the chasm bellow. Then he gave him an insistent scowl, and Helm figured his father had found out about the teacher prank.

He made an innocent pout and looked down at his shoe to avoid the chidding stare of his father.

**I'm sorry for what happened with mr Scrottur…..** he slowly said in his defense.

**You will be. You're grounded. **The Count icily stated.

Helm lift his gaze for a second and understood from the frown look of his father that there will be no escape this time.

**You are to stay into your room untill I decide you are wothy to set the foot outside this quarters!**

The boy surpressed a giggle at the faked anger from his father's voice. And, well, it was the usual punishment. Egobossler had never hit his son.

**But dad… you told me this two days ago…..when I dropped your favourite trophy in mr. Schrottur's head**. He quietly said, so his parent won't perceive it like an imprtinence but this time a giggle escaped his lips and Egobossler faked another frown to surpres a smile.

_**You are one heck of a kid, Helm! **_

**So why didn't you stayied here, then? **He went on hoping he will intimidate the boy.

**Because I had to go to the kindergarten….. **Helm smiled innocently knowing that not even his father could comment at this excuse.

**Can I not go there anymore, please?**

Egobossler lifted a questioning eyebrow. The boy went on.

**I hate it. The other kids tell me I'm a freak and I have a stupid name! **He complained.

Egobossler scowled in anger. How dared those whelps to say _his _name was stupid? He inwardly agreed with his son. That mob of spolied brats of the aristocracy could teach his offspring nothing useful.

**We shall see! **He tranchantly replied. Then his eyes fell on the laptop from the boy's lap. Ahh, he had enough of those things for today. His son knew how to deal with it and everybody said it was entertaining..

**What are you doing with that?** He pointed intrigued at the computer.

**I speak with my friends!** Helm said as he typed something into the thing.

Egobossler gaped in shock. He heard about children having imaginary friends but no way he'll let his son to speak with a machine.

**Helm, that is an object! You cannot speak to it! **

The boy shot him a puzzled glare.

**I'm not speaking with the computer, dad! I'm speaking with my friends from the chat room! **He explained to the older.

**Chat room? **Helm senior asked bewildered.

His son nodded smilingly as he turned the screen to his father. Maybe his daday will spend more time with him if he will teach him at the computers.

**In a chat room you can talk with persons from all around the world!** He made a large waving with his hand.

**I have lots of friends there. My favourite is TheMightySwallow. He is from Utoland and he likes bugs!**

Upon hearing mentioning the name of the enemy's lair, the Count came beside the boy and took a peek in the laptop. Of course, Helm was smart enough to close the conversation cassette. Otherwise he might got another preachings from his father.

_**So this is a chat room!**_ The word was familiar to the Count, he had overheard the goons talking about it. One even said he got a date through it. A small smile flased on his lips. It could be something of great importance for his plans.

WELCOME TO UTOLAND CHAT ROOMS

He peered through the list of users. He had never seen such weird combinations of name and letters in his whole life. How could this be entertaining?

**Wanna logg in, dad?** The boy asked him.

Egobossler nodded. Well since he was no longer pushed by the pressing matters of world conquering, he could waste a few minutes with these trivialities.

**Which nickname?**

**Nickname? **He stared questionilngly at his son.

**Yup, it's the name with the other users will see you! **

**Why I need no nickname! I'm Count Egobossler….**

**Dad, it's better not to use your real name….. **His voice dropped under the icy cold glare of his fater.

**Then again no one will believe it's really you!** He whispered for himself as he typed the rquested nick into the registration field.

COUNT EGOBOSSLER HAS JOINED THE CHATTROOM

He flexed his fingers in anticipation. Maybe those computers won't be so difficult as he thought.

Little Helm watched his father with a mischievous smile on his face. He doubted the Count will enjoy his chatting experience very much, since the channel was populated with ISO partisans.

He will be greated like a cat in a mouse club…………………


	3. Of poker and the great mother mystery

**Utoland Suburbs, in the Snack J………….**

Ken stood at the bar with glass of something tawnish Jun gave him when he asked for a drink in front of him. He was meditating at the last turn of events of the war. They had found out from the spies that the Count Egobossler had been replaced. And the best of it, Sosai had chosen a dumber idiot and with even worse fashion sense than the first blue maggot had. He smirked as he remembered how all the five of them burst in laughter upon seeing the new orange gauze clad villain…..Marster, or something like that. He'd lookd better in a Christmas tree rather than on the mecha's deck, despite all his attempts to look imposing. The birds have been completely unimpressed!

He didn't even had that nerve grating laughter of Egobossler they all were used with, but only a squeamish giggle. Their eardrums, however, were happy with this change.

_**Where did he find this guys? He must bring them from that weird gallaxy he came from!**_ Ken thought. Not that he had anything to object about that.

He thoughts went back to the Count. So, the bastard was no longer the Leader. He must be pretty miffed up, so Ken decided that he and his team must pay him a visit. Not that they missed him very much, but the scowl on his freakish blue face was something worth seeing. He couldn't miss the opportunity to laugh in his face after all he had done. He was sure dr. Nambu won't have nothing to object either. He hated Egobossler almost as much as Ken did.

_**When one enemy is down, kick him further!**_ As cynical as it sounded, Egobossler deserved it . He maliciously mused at a way to further anger the Count. Those flyers with pamphlets, caricatures and wicked telltales about Egobossler ISO had dropped over occupated cities weren't enough for him. The Count deserved soemthing mean, soemthing truly humiliating.

_**Of course!**_

Ken's lips curled into a devious smile as a plan formed in his mind. A part of his conscience rejected it, surpriesed by it's own evilness. But the rest eagerly agreed and dismissed the protests.

He absentmindedly took a gulp from the beverage, thinking at the humilliation he was going to cause to his enemy.

**GAACKHH!**

Ryu, Joe and Jinpei turned to Ken, who was staring disgusted at the half-empty glass in his hand. The other half of liquid was splattered on the floor.

**What the heck is this thing? **

**Diet tea! **Ryu answered him. His large mate had also a glass with that thing in his hand. Ken spotted an identical puddle on the floor, beside his chair too.

**Is she serving this to the clients? No wonder we're the only ones here!**

He placed his glass on the counter and took a peek through the bar's window to see if it was any drinkable stuff there. To his dismay the storage was full with geen packs that had a _Diet tea _tag on them.

**Don't you have anything better than this?** He pointed the glass.

**Maybe if you'd pay your tabs…..** Jinpei's voice chimed from aboved the laptop he was working with.

**Watcha' doin' there?** Ryu bent to have a peek at the conversation on the screen.

**I'm talking with my friend!** The boy casualy answered.

**BlueBoy4? That sure is a strange nickname. Who knows what psycho could be behind it?** Ryu wondered

**He's kid! He told me he likes animals and have a stupid dad!**

**Good thing you've find something who's speaking your tongue! Has Jun finished with the pest termination yet?**

Jinpei's head snapped up with an expression of awe on his face!

**Oneeeechaaaaan, noooooo!** He cried and left the laptop, jumped from his seat and ran upstairs to save his bugs from his sister's clutches.

**Back to Saturnhoffen…….**

Just as Helm had predicted, his daddy's experience with computers was going from bad to worse.

Logging into a ISO friendly chatroom with your true name is not a pleasant experience, if you happen to be the leader of the rival terrorist organisation. The Count gritted his teeth in anger at the heap of IMs insulting Egobossler and Gallactor popping up on the screen!

**How dare they to speak of me in this manner?! When I will take over the world I will outlaw this blasted internet invention. And I will kill the one who invent it!**

**Too late!** Helmy whispered slowly as he watched his parent horrified. He knew his father well enough to know he'll keep his word.

_**Oh, no dad, I can't let you to take over the world, then! Noo-uh!**_ He thought.

Egobossler's fist banged into the keyboard as his eyes fell on the _Which Gallactor leader you want to stick a fork into?_ rating poll:

Berg Katze 31 - apparently he had lost from his unpopularity in the four year that passed from the first war.

Gel Sadra 22 - she was an incompetent… No wonder no one feared her!

Egobossler  47 - whaaaat?!

He was the winner from afar. At the _Who has the worse fashion sense? _pole, he was only on the second place.

**I'll give them a reason to hate me!** He snarled as he clenched tightly his fists!

**What it this wretchedness good at?** He hissed at the insults on the screen.

**I told you not to log in with your real name, dad!**

Helm flinched and backed away immediately under his father murderous glare.

**You can play something if you want…….They have online poker boards.** The boy slowly added on a placatory voice.

Poker was his favourite game, but it seem impossibe to him to play it on the computer, with a partener at the other side of the planet! How is he going to cheat then? He snorted again at the machine, but eventualy allowed his son to log him into the game board arcades.

**In the empty Snack J……….. **

Ken had moved in front of Jinpei's laptop and browsed vapidly through the boards of some game portal. He yawned in boredom, this was as interesting as kicking the goons. His eyes bulged out from their sockets as the cursor clicked at random on one of the game links.

**Hey guys, come over here!**

His mates bent over to check what he wanted.

**There's a moron who logged as Count Egobossler in the poker boards!** He beamed.

**Must be a croonie. Or you really think blue bastard started to play poker online when he's so busy taking over the world?**

**Don't know Joe, he has the time, now that Sosai had fired him!** wondered Ryu.

**Oh, bullshit! Everybody hates Egobossler! Who would ever log like him in a ISO portal?**

**You mean that could actualy be Egobossler, Ryu?** Ken asked.

**Yeah, the chance is like about one in a million!** Stated Joe.

**I still think he's a Gallactor goonie. Must be pretty stupid if he logged himself with that nick on our boards! Go bug with him anyway. Maybe you'll find something about what their up now!**

Ken nodded. It was a good idea. He had nothing to loose anyway. But what if that was the real Egobossler? He dismissed it.

_**Naaah!**_ _**I'd sooner see Joe dancing in his white undies!**_

**meanwhile at Saturnhoffen ………**

The Count's eyebrows rised in surprise as a message popped up on his screen

_MightyEagleG1 invites you to a poker game_

This nickname stirred him the unpleasant memories of Gatchaman, making him wonder of who could be at the end of the other terminal.

_**Impossible! It would be the unbelivable to find that pesky bird here. It must one of his fans! He might even be working for ISO. Let's see what informations I can snatch out from him!**_He thought as he clicked the accept button!

**Still at Saturnhoffen, 30 minutes after……..**

Count Egobossler watched with a satisfied smile on his face his credits indicator number growing. He had won again. All the games. And he didn't even cheat! While the money did not interested him, the satisfaction of the victories contented him enoumously. Whoever this MightyEagleG1 was, it must be such a ninny. He was now wishing him to be the real Gatchaman.

He selected his cards from the tray and dealt the row, waiting for his partner to deal his ones.

His smile broadened as he won again, with a full house against his opponent one pair.

_**Ah, Helm boy, if you only were that lucky on the battlefield!**_ He mused to himself.

Then an idea come into his mind. He accessed the ISO's public webpage, searching thrugh the lists.

_**There it is!**_ He beamed!

He quickly typed a message explaining the latest mecha plans Marstora had and chuckled maliciously as he read it again, then sent it to to Snack J…………

Ken watched terror-stricken his credit indicator number growing. But the minus in front of the amount shown the money he had lost. He had lost all the games! Ah, whoever this Count Egobossler was, it was a damn good poker player. And the man had blind luck too. Ken wanted to strangle him as much as he wanted to gut the real Egobossler.

He focused back at the game and he clicked to show his row to the other player .

_**C'mon, at least this time…….just this time……..**_ He mentally prayed.

His head fell on the counter with a groan as he saw the other's hand. A full house. He lost again.

_**Why God?... it's not fair ……..**_

**Geez, Ken you sure are a loser!** Joe taunted. **He beat you ten times in thirty minutes!**

The Eagle only shot his second a deadly glare. Then he looked back at the intriguing nickname of his game partner. Just who was this guy. He had no dubt he was a Gallactor, but Ken didn't thought he could stand the shame to be defeated at an online poker game, by that blue scum. Not even he could have that ammount of bad luck! The boys would tease him for ages if that happened.

**Just who are you?** He slowly asked as he stared at the screen.

One more reason for the tonight's raid at Saturnhoffen. Whoever was this Count Egobossler, he would not enjoy the Eagle's visit!

His mouth felt dry after all the emotions he went through, seeing his money wasted on a silly online poker against some Gallactor nobody. He absentmindedly stretched his hand to the counter, grabbing the glass he'd placed there before, his thist making him forget about what disgusting taste it had. He was instantly reminded as he took a gulp from it and spit it immediately.

**Aww, man , don't you have anything drinkable around? Beer, or something?**

**No more alcohol for you, Ken! Don'cha remember what you did the last time?** Ryu bluffed him.

**Yeah, I had to dragg your ass to the shack! And then listen to Jun's scoldings all night!** Joe added.

The Eagle blushed at their tauntings, darting his eyes around to find a decent tasting liquid to quench his thirst. That tea was out of question!

Noise of steps upstairs got his attention and he turned to see Jinpei ranning down the stairs, while clutching a jar at his chest!

**I won't let you harm Chups! **He fiercely shout at his sister, who went towars his at a determined pace, swirling threatingly an insecticide spray in her left hand.

**It was the the last time that thing set it's foot in **_**my**_** room!** she hissed.

The boy backed off few more staeps, huddling protectivly the jar at his chest. To his relief, Jun stopped in her tracks upon seeing Ken at the counter.

**Hello, Ken!**

He waved her shyly salute and she figured he was again low on funds and come to ask for a loan! Jun flashed him a lovely radiant smile in return. Who knew, maybe she would get something this time. After all, she had spent all her night reading dating magazines and thinking to get this Eagle in her bag!

Ken groaned inwardly. Her smile let him know that another series of passings from the Swan are awaiting him. Well, not that he didn't liked her, she was more beautiful with each day, but he was Gatchaman, and he had a war to fight and a world to save everyday, so he couldn't allow himself to become emotionally attached…..and especially not of one of his team members. This was so not fair!

He was suddenly aware of her insistents gaze upon him and ran a hand trough his hair as he felt his cheeks blushing.

**Hi, Jun! **

God, why he always felt this way when she was looking at him. She bent over the counter, pretending to wipe with a towel the finger thick layer of dust from it, that clearly showd that the counter hadn't been used in ages. The others backed off not to choke with the cloud of dust that will fill when she'll do it.

Jun took a quick peer at the front pockets of Ken's trousers. Just as she thought, they were sticked empty. Appanrently he forgot _again _to bring her the loan he owned her. She roughly slid the towel across the counter's surface, sending a thick cloud of dust towards Joe and Ryu, who coughed and corked their noses with their hands.

**Easy with that Jun.** Ryu coughed

**Next time you dust up this place tell us to bring a gas mask with us!** Joe grumbled as he waved his hands to send off the dust.

She pouted sulkily at them and went next to Ken.

**Are you busy tonight? **She slowly asked, smiling him softly.

_**Here we go again! **_He groaned.

**Well……**Ken shrugged as he searched for an excuse to brush her off. Joe had no racings today and he had finished his mail delivery job!

**Then I thought you could……..**

He suddenly realised he wouldn't mind at all to spend the rest of the day with her. So he nodded in acceptance.

…**..help me with the clean-up!** She finished and handed him a bucket with a mop.

**You can start from here. **

He gawked stuned at the bucket in his hand. This was not the way he hanted to spend his day with Jun. Ken sighed, trying to ignore to sniggering and snide comments of Joe and Ryu as he rubbed sturdily the floor, wondering if it has ever been washed since the former owner of the bar did!

Joe and Ryu wisely decided to take the french leave, before Jun decided to involve them in the _clean-up_ operation, leaving the Eagle to labour alone.

_**Bastards! Their tabs are as big as mine! **_He thought forlorningly!

_**I must get myself a job!**_

XXXXXXXXXX

Count Egobossler slowly tapped his figers on the laptop's surface, smiling contently. He was now feeling a lot better and his satisfaction had something to do with trashing that MightyEagleG1 on the poker boards. Computers proved to be usefull after all. He was now more decided than ever to learn their secrets. The possibilities the internet offered were practically unlimitated. His thoughts drifted at that goon who had told his fellow about how he'd found a date online…and then interupted by a light tugging on his sleeve of his black coat.

He looked down at the white knitted brows of his son in a puppy innocent expression. He sighed knew what this was meaning. The boy wanted to know the meaning of some new heard phrase and he wasn't in mood to explain him what some particulary word from the goon swearings meant.

**Dad, what is a mother?**

The question made Egobossler's eyes to bulge out from their sockets.

**A mother is….** He started.

Helm didn't have a mother since was a clone and he was created in a atificial womb. And he had spent his four years of life within the solitarily walls of Saturnhoffen, where the only feminine presences were the old maids that did the clean-up and seldomly a funny looking lady with her face full of white dust and clad up in huge laced furbelowed dresses which he didn't liked because they always pinched his cheeks and ruffled his hair. And those usualy paid attention only to his father. So when his kindergarten mates asked him if his mother was blue as well, Helmy stared them puzzled and asked intrigued the meaning of this word, which caused them to return his the questioning stares. Eventually he told them he has no such thing as a mother.

**But everybody must have one!** A girl with curly blonde tresses told him.

So he decided to ask his father to enlighten him about the matter. What he didn't espect was to see his daddy so puzzled at his question. This only stirred his curiosity so he decided to find out more about what this mysterious mother was.

Egobossler rolled his eyes searching an appropiate explanation to appease the child's curiosity. He hated when this subject came up. It was still one of the most proliffic gossip topic ever since he came with the baby at the castle, four years ago. He refused to reveal the truth, since he couldn't decide over the profile of that woman, fact that caused so many speculations over Helm's parentage. While the paternity could not be contested because of the striking resemblance between the child and his father, everyone was sure the boy was the product of one of the Count's affairs, they were in disagrement with the fictive mother's status; some said she was a married noble lady who gave away the child to mentain the appearences, meanwhile other said she was an actress or a maid from his castle. He smiled at the last assumption; all the maids he had were old women and ironically, he himself was the product of a such affair!

So he let everybody to think what they pleased and kept the secret burried for the times his son would be old enough to understand.

Another thing he had realised in the last four years was that being a parent, and especialy being an only parent to a hyperactive boy like Helm could be a very difficult task, even if the only father activities he was doing was to ocasionally reprimand his offspring after a significant prank. While the thought of marriage did not suited him, he had oftenly wanted to get a mother for his son, more to have somebody to look after the boy. However, he couldn't find a woman on his taste, and Helm Jr. didn't get well along with his lovers-in-test. That, plus the fact they were permanently pestering him to reveal his mother's identity made him to give up the idea. So now he placed his son in the care of the instructors he had carefully chosen, mostly narrow-minded old teachers whom he thought will shape the boy in the disciplinate man he wanted him to be.

His son and discipline, however were two incompatible notions and Helm's resourcefull pranks set them all on the run. And so he realised, that since Schrottur was the last instructor on the list, the boy was now without someone to look after him. Which left two possibilities; he would either persuade the man to come back to his job….one way or another, or he would have to search for a nanny. An equaly difficult thing because of the riot reputation his son had. Besides, a woman would be too soft to give the boy the education he wanted. But the true reason he didn't wanted a woman nanny was……he tilt his head backwards as he remembered _her_.

**Dad?**

Another tug at his sleeve brught his attention back at his son, who was looking up at him expectatnly.

**You don't have a mother, Helm!** He stated.

His son shook his head.

**But Lisa said I must have one. Every child has one!**

For a moment Egobossler felt a wave of pity for his son. He still missed his own mother.

**You simply don't have one! She….**He stoped thinking what to excuse to say to motivate her absence. The boy was to small to understand the concept of death so he couldn't say him she died. He had to find a way to close this topic once for all, otherwise the boy would never stop pester him.

**I don't know who is she**! He fumbled. And in this very moment Count Egobossler decided once for all to get a mother for his son! And he made a note to give an advertisment for a nany job. Just in case.

The boy's face fell louringly. Helm was clearly dissapointed with the explanation he got, but he saw he won't get any further informations from his parent.

**Saturnhoffen, at night….**

Helm looked up gloomingly at the guard his father had assigned to look after him. The green clad goon obviously didn't seem happy with the job either. He snorted down at the kid, while moved his gun from a hand to the other, hoping to intimidate him and prevent any further prank he might had in mind. Of course he wouldn't dare to touch a single hair from his head, God knows what the Count would do to him if something happened the brat.

Helm sighed gloomily as he cupped his cheeks in his hands. He wished to spend more time with his daddy, but Egobossler always harshly brushed off the boy when he asked him to play together.

_**I wonder what the communication with the children suppose to mean! **_

He was feeling lonely and the energetic outburst that made everybody to tag him as a spoiled, mischievous brat were only manifestations of his desire for company. He thought again about the mother subject and of what he had heard from the other kids. They said they mothers cuddled and played with them. He wanted to. And his daddy never played with him. All he did was to scold and keep him preachings.

_**I want a mother too!**_

The boy sigh brought the goon's attention, who almost feel sorry for the child upon seeing him looking so miserable.

**You alright kid?**

Helm gave sorrowful nod and raised up on his feet and headed for the balcony. It always made him feel better when he watched the forrests down there, as he thought of the animals hidden out there. He didn't believed the creepy monster tales his governesses tried to scare him to quiet him down.

**Where you going?** The guard asked worried that he might have something in mind

**To the balcony!** He ansewred airily

The man gave him a cautious gaze.

**Just don't pull up something kid! Or your dad would fry me up!**

Helm nodded again as he left the room

_**They must have more fun than me!**_ He thought as his eyes focused the snowy mountain peaks from afar.

On a distant terrace of the castle, two birds of prey were surveiling the from their high hideout.

**Looks quiet around here!**

**Yeah, luckily we brougt the C4 to heat the party! **

The Eagle grinned deviously at his second's statement. At least one Count Egobossler will have a very, very bad night!

**Let's split up! You go to the left wing. I'll set up the tower!**

Joe nodded and jumped of the roof's rim gliding his wings to where his commander had sent him.

_**Time to kick some Gallactor ass!**_ He smiled as the cool air curents brushed his cheek.

In the norther tower of the castle the Eagle had enough fun like the condor. He mowed down one goon after the another, hoping the one who beat him that morning was among them! He still felt a little tired after the clean-up work Jun forced him to do at the Snack, but kicking goons were a refreshing activity aftrer all.

Meanwhile in the left wings, Joe was groping around the vaste maze of corridors which sadly were desserted. From the flamboyant decorations he guessed those must be the living quarters of someone important.

_**Wouldn't be fun to barge right into the bastard's bedroom?**_ He mused. Now that would be a good place to detonate a pack od explosible!

He roamed around a few more times, feeling dissaponited he could not ran into a squad of goons. Then decided to go meet his leader at the tower.

_**He'd better save some goons for me!**_

Joe crept at random into one of the chambers from the passage, heading to the balcony from where he could jump and glide to his destination. He climbed over the rim, gauged the distance to the tower's window and stretched his winged cape, preparing himself to take off, when a voice behind startled him.

**Hi!**

Joe staggered, nearly falling over the balcony, then quickly regained his equlibrum and spun back, feather in hand, ready to face the enemy. Who looked like little boy with light blue skin and a toussled white shock. Egobossler's son. So the rumors were true! Joe lowered his shuriken not knowing what to do. He definitely didn't expected to ran into the child. He put a finger to his mouth, signaling to the boy to keep quiet.

Helm studied the stranger, mindless of the danger he was in, wrinkling the bridge of his nose at the weird costumation. This guy had worse fashion sense than his daddy's croonies.

**Who are you? And why are you dressed up like a penguin?**he asked on a childish tone that make Joe look down at his attirement.

**What's wrong with my Birdstyle, kiddo? And I'm a Condor! **

Helm shook his little blue head in dissacord.

**Nu-uh! Penguin! And what are you doing here? Did dad give a masqa… masqer…uhm party, again?**

_**Not your daddy, us!**_ Joe thought wryly

**Yeah, **he mumbled**, we're his special guest!**

The boy's eyes narrowed. This penguin guy was hiding something.

**Then why are you sneaking through my room? **

**Because….**and he gesticulate threatingly to the boy with his shuriken to scare him off. Of course, it was behind him to hurt a child, even if he was his enemy's child. Helm only snorted at the ridiculous behaviour of this man.

Joe groaned. Why couln't this be a nice kid, get scared and run back into his bedroom to hide under the bed? Not only he didn't did this, but he became more curious and went closer to pry him.

**Is that a knife in shape of a feather? Can I see it?**

Joe looked at the shuriken in his hand and hid it in his cape.

**No, you can't!**

**Why not?** Helmy whined

**Because it's not for kids!**

The boy sulked and pouted.

**Look, it's a really dangerous stuff, you can't touch it**!

_**Aww, great Joe. The others are having fun bashing goonies and I have to squable with Egobossler's brat!**_

**Do you want to play with me, then?**

**Uhh, look kid, I'm busy, I have things to do… **_**kick some green asses, blow up things around, and get some smacks into that scumbag daddy of yours….**_

**Pleeeeeaase, nobody wants to play with me…..**

**Maybe later, kid.** Answered Joe as he prepared to jump of the rim.

**Will you come here again?** Helm asked just as the Condor took off.

**Be sure!** The ninja shout back!

Helm waved him goodbye and ran back to his bedroom to tell the guard about the strange man dissguised as a penguin.

**Yeah, right!**

**But it's true!** **I did see him.**

**Kid, you've been reading too many stories**, he waved him off as he heard the story!

**I'm not making this up! He was taller than you and he had a penguin costume on and a helmet like that….. it was even funnier than dad's and a sharp feather! **He stamped in frustration at not beeing believed!

The guard sighed and went to the balcony to check the boy's story. Just as he thought, the place was pretty empty, no sign of this penguin guy. He checked once again, bending over the balcony, who knows what the boy had seen….

**Penguin dude my…..**

He made a rattling noise as a white feather shuriken embeded itself into his nape and fell dead over the balcony.

XXX

**WHAT?!**

Count Egobossler banged his fist on the table, causing the brandy glass to jolt and cried in anger and at his second in comand who had the ungrateful task to report the enemy invasion to his superior. Like it was his fault those damned Gatchaman birds had attacked Saturnhoffen again.

Well,_ invasion_ was not the most appropiate notion to describe five people against their legions of soldiers, but the damages were as bad as if a hoard of ISO phaser thanks had suddenly dropped in their yard!

**How could this happen?!** He snarled at the dithering silhouette of Kempler while he stared at the charred smoking remains of the northern tower.

**I don't know milord. They must have inflitrated in….. **

**And why didn't you discovered them in time?**

Kempler cringed at the yell and faltered further!

**Milord, I am the head of the Gallctor Intellingence Network** (of _course Gallactor and Intellingence had nothing in common.)_…..**This was Mechandol's duty. He runs the Security…..**

It was Kempler's usual tactic to throw the blame on the others and it usualy worked with the Count. But this time was an exception.

**You idiot!** The blue man snarled at his officer

Fortunately for Kempler, he was fast enough to step aside, ducking the glass which crashed into the wall behind. He wiped off the brandy droplets that dribbed on his military uniform and strainghtened himself, regaining his dignified posture while his leader was wondering if there was something more that could go wrong today.

Who said the luck visits the fools more than the smart ones, knew what he was talking about.

Just then, to Kempler's relief, an orderly knocked at the door bringing important news for the Count.

His son was nowhere to be found! And they have found the body of the guard assigned to look after him three stories bellow, with a shuriken in his neck!

Egobossler went pale blue at the news, and Kempler had the ocassion to admire, (_with great satisfaction_) for the first time the terror striken face of his superior.

**Commander Mechandol had given orders to be searched throughout the whole Castle, milord. **

**And?**

**We still haven't found him. But we did found this note in his bedroom.**

Egobossler took the folded piece of paper from the soldier's hand and opened it to read it's content.

_Der Dad, _

_Becaus you're to busy to play with me I'm off to find a mother! I will be back with her. _

_Cheers, Helm_

_P.S. You can scold me when I came back!_

He felt his legs failing him and colapsed into the armchair with his head in his hands! His day was going from bad to worse.


	4. There she is

The fotoscopical lens focalised on the figure bellow, as the cybernetic brain analysed the received datas, a hint of recognision flickering through it's circuits. It had seen this before. Every time ever since he had put his huge alien bulb on this planet! Had it been a human, Sosai would have gone mad by now!

**YOU HAVE FAILED!**

Marstora sighed and tilted his head lower. He was expecting to be chewed by the alien for his failure at the hands of KNTG, so he had his excuse ready. What he didn't expected was to have so much trouble with those ninjas. He should have listened to Egobossler's ranting!

**An unimportant setback, Sosai! But my plans have not been foiled by their little victory! **

**LITTLE VICTORY? IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST MECHA MODELS I HAVE EVER DESIGNED! AND I HAVE LOST A TEAM OF MY BEST SCIENTISTS! ARE YOU CALLING THIS UNIMPORTANT?**

Marstora lip quivered at the alien's roar

_**That was **_**my **_**mecha model you dim strobe bulb!**_

**They have won now, but next time…..**

Sosai cut him with a burst of laughter.

**NEXT TIME? THAT USED TO BE EGOBOSSLER'S PATHETIC EXCUSE! AND KATZE'S! AND GELSADRA'S! YOU COULD BE AT LEAST MORE ORIGINAL! **

**I know their weaknesses now Sosai! I will not fail**…. He wanted to say _next time_ , but he refrained himself. Apparently the alien had little tolerance at this two words!

**AND THAT TOO! BY THE SOUNDS OF YOUR EXCUSES YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN THEY WERE! I SHOULD HAVE NOT REPLACED EGOBOSSLER FOR YOU! AT LEAST HE HAD MORE WIT!**

One advantage Marstora had from Egobossler, beside a much better skill in the computers expertise was a greater tolerance at insults. But being compared with the blue half-wit who couldn't use a machine did hurt whatever tiny bit of self esteem he had.

**I will defeat Gatchaman this time Sosai! And I will destroy the pulsance base!  
**

**YOU BETTER! OR YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ROTTING ON THE MARS FACILITY!**

**Have no worry, Sosai! I will do as you say! I shall report you the destruction of the pulsance base as soon as possible!**

With that, Marstora made a quick bow and rushed outside the alien's body, feeling he got preached enough for that day!

The alien fotoscopical lens followed his minion departing, while it's brain mused over the martian's words. After his long experience with the Gatchaman, all he was expecting in Marstora's next report was another shameful defeat at their hands and the lost of another perfectly functionable mecha!

Sosai Z revised his strategies against his Earthern enemies searching for the flaws that hammpered his victory! He did his part in it (or so he thought), he constructed the mechas, watched them blown to bits by that indolent children, listened to the pathetic excuse of his chosen leaders, built another mechas and so on…..What more could it do?

If he could only find a competent human being to do the job.

As he remembered his past years on Earth and the failures of minions, his mind focused on a little detail, something it no longer paid attention.

"**I will need you!**"

An Earthen saying said that if you want a work well done, do it with your own hand! And while Sosai didn't have any hands, it did had many other meanings to destroy a base. And the one from Cowbella will have to destroyed. At any costs……

"**Where are you child?"**

_1.23 pm, Barney's Pizza Shop_...

**Here's your pack, sir! It's 3.25 $!**

The man tossed the money on the counter and grabbed his packages, flying off from the store without looking back.

Ken looked after him and shooked his head. It was the third customer on that day and all acted that way.

_**This people had such strange habbits**_! Ken thought.

He sighed and put the money into the pay desk keeping his rightfull tip. He sighed again as he looked down at the few coins from his hand.

_**Maybe now I could afford a decent drink at Snack!**_

The bell's clang made him look up, eagerly waiting for the next customer.

"**Joe?"**

Joe and Ryu excahanged awed glances upon hearing the huge hen at the behing the counter recognising them.

"**Geez, Joe I didn't knew you are that famous!**" Ryu elbowed him.

"**It's me!**" Ken said as he took off the yellow headpiece of his Hen suit.

The boys stared at him in shock for a moment than both bursted into laughter.

"**Oh Ken, you're such a Chick!"** Joe mocked between guffaws

"**That's not funny, Joe!"**He huffed

"**Seriously Ken, what are you doing here?"** Ryu asked.

"**Earning a living! ISO doesn't pay us enough for saving the world!"**

"**So, I see you picked something to remember of your other job! Nice Birdstyle!**" Joe scoffed as he tugged at Ken's cockscomb.

"**Don't come back begging for a loan!**"

"**Yeah right! Like you could afford to give one!**"

Ken gritt his teenth and clenched his fist, looking speculatively at Joe's chin. His second didn't seem to get the hint.

"**Ken the Eagle has become Ken the Hen!**" he continued to irk on the Eagle's nerves.

Ken growled and gave a blow at Joe, but the siscillian easilly dodged. Sensing the tension raise up, Ryu butted in.

"**Chill out, guys**!"

"**He started!**" Ken pointed to Joe who was still laughing.

**BEEEP!**

**BEEEP!**

**BEEEP!**

Everyone looked down at their glowing bracelets.

"**Nambu's calling us**." Ryu noted.

"**It must be Gallactor**! **Let's go!**" Ken jumped over the counter and rushed out to the ISO's headquarters.

"**Hey, Mr. Science Ninja Bird, ready to egg some Gallactors?**" Joe shouted behing him as he joggled with some eggs he found on the counter. He therw one at Ken hitting him in the left breast

"**Why you…"** Ken snarld and lunged at Joe.

_ISO headquarters, Nambu's offic_e...

Chief Nambu stared at the members of the Science Ninja Team Gatchaman , now in their civillian attire, gathered in front of him. His gaze lingered particulary on the first two of them. Ken wore a yellow, plucked and glair smeared Hen suit. Joe had his hair tousled, clothes ripped and also smeared with egg glair, and a bruise on his cheek. Ocassionaly he and Ken exchanged angry glances. Chief Nambu groaned inwardly. He thought they had already passed over .

He gathered his thoughts and drifted his attention back at more pressing matter.

"**We have received an anonymous e-mail warning us about Gallactor's next move**."

He paused for a second, frowning. Joe and Ken still continued to scowl one at each other. Nambu hmphed, which brought back their attention, then continued.

"**They are planning to destroy our research base from Cowbella city!"**

"**But the city is protected by a division of phaser tanks!**" Jun intervened.

The chief nodded and went on.

" **The Cowbella base is of utmost importance in our researchment ! It is your next mission to go scouting and avert any Gallactor attempt. I have prepared your papers!**"

"**But Hakase, are you sending us because of anonymous e-mail? It could be someone's joke! Meanwhile Gallactor could attack other places!**" Ken chipped in.

Nambu frown as he always did when he was interupted.

"**Why would Gallactor want to destroy that particulary base?**" Ken pressed

" **That is confidential data**!" Nambu answered bluntly.

" **You must prevent any possibility that that base will be destroyed. Understood?"**

All five of them nodded.

"**Prepare yourself. You will be departing over five hours**!"

_Cowbella city_...

Helm carefully looked around him as he wandered across the street. It was morning and and they were mostly deserted, except for a matinal passer-by who didn't bother to have a glance at the strange looking blue child. He mused at his runaway purpose as he wondered where he was now. This place didn't seem even remotely familiar, but, comparative with the dark, gloomy air whithin the Castle, he found he liked the something! He got here by sneaking into one of those underground trains he reached by going after another funny dressed up man. That one had a white suit, bird shaped like the penguin man's like and Helmy thought he looks a little like a chicken. So he followed him and got into the underground station's passages of the Castle, from where he sneak into a train. He had travelled into one of those once before with his daddy, and it was fun! He fell asleep at one moment and the hard jolt of the train's halting rudely woke him up. He disembarked into a ground level station, (of course the sentinels being much too stupid to notice a four year old creeping out) and headed to what appeared to be the city's gates ahead of him. Then some nice old man with a herd of cows picked him up in his cart, gave him a breakfast and told him something about a cow festival that will take place into the city.

Helm sighed, he was not interested into it, he came here to find a mother. A slight tweettering made him turn around to see a tousled blonde haired boy slightly older than him, held by the hand by a woman, who was apparently chidding him. She must have been his mother! He was on the right track! And so the blue skinned boy ran to the other child to ask where he found his! He followed them as they took the corner and entered into a shop.

"**Does we really have to do this Oneechan?**" Jinpei asked again, rolling his eyes as his sister was staring at a glass case.

"**Yes Jinpei!**" She answered him absentmindedly

"**But Oneechan, I know Gallactors are that stupid, but what would they do in a store?"**

This time he got no answer.

Jinpei sighed. He knew that "scouting the area" was just a pretense for his sister to loaf the shops. She had a habit to buy ….things, mostly "_How to get a man_" books or lace lingerie. Last time she bought a bag of aphrodisiac teas and asked him to carry it! He suspected it had to do with her secret plan to get Ken.

"**Ohh, Jinpei look!"**

The boy looked up at what she was pointing ecstasiated.

Huge on the glass was written in cappitals : **DIET TEA! BUY TWO AND ONE FOR FREE!**

"**Ohh, no**!"

"**Isn't it wonderfull, Jinpei? Let's go make supplies for the Snack**!"

Jinpei sighed again. He had the feeling he knew who was going to carry the packages!

Helm looked around himself. The woman and the boy were nowhere in sight, and he found he was lost in the crowd of people from the store.

"**Well, at least I have where to look for a mother!"**

He squeezed his small frame among the customers, looking for the best candiadate . He wrinkled his nose at the womans he saw..To old, to fat, to mean-looking…….

Helmy frowned his eyebrows as he continued to watch and walk among them . It's so hard to find a mother!

Something caught the boy's shoulder and looked up dazed to see the watchman squinting down at him.

"**Are you lost kid? Where's your mother?**"

"**Umm, I'm trying to find her**" Helm mumbled. That was half true at least.

The man watched him suspicious.

"**How does she looked like?**"

"**Umm,..she's….**." Helm quickly look around him as he was searching for an excuse. A mop of dark hair behind a pile of tea bags scattered on the floor caught his eye. The woman behind it was young and pretty and she look like a nice person. Helmy smiled

"**Hey, kid!**" The watcher slowly shook his shoulder.

"**There is she!**" Helm bursted, pointing at the dark-haired girl.

Jun was loading teas in her shopping basket despit Jinpei's mumbled protest, when something bore down upon her gipping tightly at her throat. She instantly dropped the tea from har hand and readied herself to defend against a Gallactor squad.

"**Take care of that kid ma'am! He tends to get himself in trouble!"**

The words dissarmed her as she stared up mouth agaped from the olive coat of the watcher to Jinpei equally shocked face. It wasn't a Gallactor attack as much as she could tell!

"**He's your son, right?**"

Son? What the…

Jun looked down at the little blue form still attached of her shirt. Helm looked up at the girl, She was pretty. He smiled shyly at her his eyes pleading to keep the game.

Jun blinked several timesas she gazed at the child in her lap. She could not belive her eyes. Him. Here. What was he doing here? The last time she had seen him years ago, he was peacefully sleeping in his crib. "_Ohh, that jerk must have been such a rotten father" _ She mused.

"**Ma'am?**"

"…**Yes?**""

"**He's your kid, right?**"

Jun looked again from Helm's pleading stare to Jinpei amazed one.

"**Of course he is!**" She smiled and embraced the boy reassuringly.

"**Well then, I'm off.** "

Her smile faded as she watched the man leave . Jun looked down at Helm again, then a thud made her to look behind , to see Jinpei's form stretched on the floor, next to the pile of tea bags.


End file.
